This memorial website was created in honor of my mother and best friend Shelby R. Patterson. Shelby passed away on Thanksgiving day in the year 2000. She was only weeks from her 60th birthday. In late August 1999 Shelby was diagnosed with a maligant (and very rare) brain tumor. 
 
Shelby was born in the tiny town of South Boston, VA on Dec. 12, 1939. She had an older brother Buddy Rogers and a younger brother William Rogers with whom she is both survived by. Shelby is also survived by her only child, her daughter  (myself) Annemieke Jeanette Patterson. Sadly, Shelby was pre-deceased by my father, John G. Patterson III.  My father and mother knew each other beginning in childhood. They were married and he was Shelby's only true love. 

Unfortunatley, Shelby's marriage to my father was dissolved in the mid nineteen eighties, but even as a broken couple in life I am happy that she  could join him in heaven unbroken six years later. Besides family,
during her short life, music was Shelby's other passion. She was an organist and a vocalist and finally a beloved music teacher of elementary school children. 




A little bit about Shelby...from her daughter.


Before I gave most of her clothes to the Goodwill, Mom's closet overflowed with sweaters, jumpers and flowered dresses, She didnot need most of those clothes until she start teaching music a lot  later in life, however shopping was a great passion of hers. After my dad died and I was still in my teens, mom would drag me off to the mall in Memphis looking for a bargain. I hope that the poor get something out of all that bargain hunting, now that her closet is empty. 

Mom was 36 when she had me in 1976. She suffered severe post-partum depression as a result of my birth, however before that she battled anxiety and crippling depression most of her life.  Her struggle with mental illness did not end until she passed away. 

Mom's entire life besides my dad and I were her goals in music. If there had been an "American Idol" back then, she just might have made it. She received her bachelors in Music in the 1960's and with a new found hope sought out to be a concert organist and soloist. When I was a baby, Mom got the only job in music that she was ever offered or was able to handle due to her mental illness. She was the organist and sang in the choir at Decatur Trinity Christian Church in Memphis, Tn for 16 years. This was not really what she wanted and that is the sad part. WHen I was 16 she had to retire the church  in order to teach music to grades K-6 at Germantown elementary school so that she could get health insurance.

There is a yearbook which is signed by her students which she kept above her bedside. (I thought it was sad) none of those kids will ever remember her. 

Another struggle in her 59 years was her relationship with Jesus. She wanted answers as to why things never turned out the way she planned and the way she prayed. I would say that she was religious, however she wasnt accepting (in a lot of ways) of the answers that priests would give her. Another struggle was her weight. She fought being overweight her entire life, only because a child when she was young called her FAT.   in all her years i dont believe she was ever over 100 pounds. 

Seeking therapy and spiritual guidance when I was young she did not have much time to (play) She was however a woman who adored  talking She would stay up until all hours of the night trying to be there for her EX-BEST friend Lee Ann Dagastino. 


Even though she struggled, she was funny at times .   She was really an honest  contradiction in terms. She was prim and proper sometimes, yet other times she had the mouth of a sailor. I didnt really like the prim and proper side. 

the speeding tickets she acquired during her lifetime. It sure seemed like a policeman was always there to catch her (basically because she was always late)


Even at 30, my age now mom was terrified of getting old. I used to tease her about it all the time, and she used to mention that IT WASNT FUNNY! The bathroom drawers, i have a long time ago cleaned out. They used to be full of any kind of miracle wrinkle cream that she could get her hands on. I dont think she needed it, because she just naturally looked young.  I always thought that her hair was too poofy! and it was JUST LIKE MINE!!

There is something else I have to mention, I was extremely distraught and was just developing the same anxiety symptoms as my mother when she got terminal brain cancer. I was not allowed to handle any funeral arrangements (nor was i made aware of them) Mothers brother (Buddy Rogers) arranged the viewing and funeral. (buddy and I do not speak) He is presently suing my estate for 7,ooo dollars--the cost of the funeral.  

Anyway, during the open casket visitation, no one seemed to care. I have noticed that people tend to mask their grief at these things or maybe they really dont greive. Anyway, one of the scariest things that I remember (next to being alone at 17 with my fathers body) was that I was (well sitting alone with moms body)  I sat in a chair beside her (no one joined me) Earlier that week, I had won a tacky green alien ring from a gumball machine. so, as brave as I could, i took it off my finger and slipped it on her dead pinky. 

When i came back, the ring was gone. All i wanted was something of mine to be with her in heaven, but sadly that was not even to be.


Bible verse, I picked for the funeral....
Revelation 21 King James Version

4) And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. 







 






PROMISE TO TRY, BY MADONNA.. SONG THAT HELPS ME. YOU CAN LISTEN IN THE MUSIC SECTION.

Little girl don't you forget her face
Laughing away your tears
When she was the one who felt all the pain

Little girl never forget her eyes
Keep them alive inside
I promise to try -- it's not the same

Keep your head held high -- ride like the wind
Never look behind, life isn't fair
That's what you said, so I try not to care

Little girl don't run away so fast
I think you forgot to kiss -- kiss her goodbye

Will she see me cry when I stumble and fall
Does she hear my voice in the night when I call
Wipe away all your tears, it's gonna be all right

I fought to be so strong, I guess you knew
I was afraid you'd go away, too

Little girl you've got to forget the past
And learn to forgive me
I promise to try -- but it feels like a lie

Don't let memory play games with your mind
She's a faded smile frozen in time
I'm still hanging on -- but I'm doing it wrong
Can't kiss her goodbye -- but I promise to try. 



My Poem,

The last leaf has fallen from the broken Willow Tree,
Changing Life Into Death for My Mother and me,
Skeleton branches on Empty Souls, blow a trumpet for the withered and old.
Bury her body by the broken willow tree, cancer has taken it all, taken it all from me,
I am an empty bride useless and torn
Bury my soul by the broken willow tree
that is all that is left, all that is left of me.

I LOVE U MOM Sept 1, 2001 and FeB 22, 2007



Hallmark Angel, which I bought for one of moms birthdays, it along with another that i broke in anger and grief sat in front of her casket. The dried blood on the angel is my blood. I made her eyes cry tears of red. Someday, along with the memorial tattoo on my wrist, i would like to get this angel also tattooed on my back or shoulder as another memorial.









PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT MY MOMS DIARY FROM 1957-Late 1980's IN THE TIMELINE SECTION!!